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Jasmine!
looloosmells
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October 2013
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Jasmine! [userpic]
Maid of Honor/Wedding Drama

Can someone tell me what to do? I am having a wedding in August, I have 8 bridesmaids, four on the West Coast (where I am originally from) and four on the East Coast (where I currently reside)....



I was wondering if you could tell me if I broke some sort of etiquette because this situation has upset me. I had told my MOH (maid of honor) to go ahead and plan the bachelorette party on the WC and I will just fly out there because I have many friends and family out there. It is tentatively for August.

Last weekend I met up with two different bridesmaids of mine, seperately and told them about the bachelorette party and they both expressed they wouldn't be able to make it ( I wouldn't expect them to) and they would like something low key (dinner, drinks at my moms house) for the friends, bridesmaids and family on the EC. I said that was fine with me. That same evening, an EC bridesmaid emailed everyone to get ideas or suggestions for a low key get together at my moms house. I wasn't included on this email thread and at about 1 am my MOH called me and said she was in shock and didn't know where this was coming from. I told her that my 4 bridesmaids out here can't make it out there, it's not practical, and she said she thought they were all coming to the WC for this party. (Mind you, I had expressed to her in the past that I was upset my fiance's sister can't make it from the WC to EC for the wedding and she told me I was being unreasonable because you can't expect people to afford such an expensive flight)....so now she is flipping that on me.

She also said that she feels like her party isn't going to be good enough or that people are going to compare the parties. I am left dumbfounded right now. I didn't know that bridesmaid was going to email everyone that night, so I didn't have a chance to tell MOH about the plans beforehand....but am I obligated to? I felt like I wanted to do something for my friends out here on the EC since they were being left out.....?

We talked about this two weeks ago over the phone. I noticed that lately, she doesn't respond to my texts and I asked what was wrong and she said that she was still upset with me for not taking her feelings into consideration and that she felt left out. I again explained the situation and MOH said that I was quick to defend the bridesmaid who wanted to throw an EC party without seeing her point of view. I noted to her that I am about to crack with the extreme pressure I'm under: we are going through a nasty lawsuit, planning a wedding, working 60+ hours a week, being broke, law school starting the same week as our wedding, having to read 60+ books by the time school starts, problems with my future inlaws, etc...she said that I was not the only person with stress and pressure.

She had also threatened to step down as maid of honor. I don't know what to do? Someone validate please or offer any advice, because I feel a heart attack coming on :(

Comments

Having two hen celebrations - particularly thousands of miles apart - is absolutely acceptable. Your MOH sounds like a pain in the backside, in all honesty; she should be making things easy for you in the run-up to your wedding, not pulling stunts like this!