Hi, I have posted here a few times. My SO has been out of town for business for nearly a month now. We usually text each other (he hates the phone) about a few times a week or more. Last Wednesday, he called me.

( HELP!! I'M FREAKING OUT! )

Current Mood: sad

So I have decided the follow:

Lots of people have many amazing talents: some can paint, some can draw, some can bring people together or tear them apart. Wanna know my talent? Meeting guys who have gotten out of long term heavy duty relationships.

I am an emotional cripple. He is leaving tomorrow for 11 days and I cant even say I miss you. I am too fucking afraid. I'm scared. I don't know what to do.

Sometimes I just like to lay here and listen to the iTunes playlist he made, but then I begin to panic. My mom and friends tell me that if you really like someone then you fight for them. You make it known. You state how you feel and make it be known that that person makes your heart skip.

I hate being like this. I have so many feelings....and it's not that hard for me to tell my friends, "hey youre fucking great!" OR "ill miss you"

Thats not an issue, no.

Current Mood: scared

So, I havent updated in a while. I just feel amazing, altho I cried all day today.

Please.Dont.Ever.Leave

Current Mood: indescribable

How have I become this bitter at 24?

Current Mood: contemplative

that you are fucking perfect.

Current Mood: content

I want a spiritual divorce.

Current Mood: chipper

I had dinner with a friend and drove to my dad's house in the mess of a half rain, half clear sky. I was just driving slow, looking for a parking spot since someone had parked in mine when I saw a gorgeous patch of clear sky. Out of nowhere, I saw the most brilliantly intense shooting star which lasted almost five seconds. That five seconds which felt like forever, left me stunned and frozen.

The summary: When you feel all alone in the world, utterly disconnected, and floating from one direction to the next, look up at the sky and remember how lucky you are to be you. You are, after all, a 1/37,000,000 possibility.

Current Mood: accomplished

I need inspiration.....err...did I say perspiration?

Current Mood: drunk

I LOVE this city.

Current Mood: cheerful

Hectic craziness brewing in my brain.

Current Mood: blank

Lord help me, for I am attempting to quit smoking as of today. (We'll see how long it lasts)

Current Mood: hopeful

Me and Nathan

( Bleh! )

Current Mood: complacent

u havent left yet? ooooo
sorry, this isnt nate
he left a while ago
o sorry
:}
hehe who's this
jasmine
who are you?
melissa
barry's sister - who he's going to vegas with

ohhh that"s right
im his good friend from nor cal
9:35 AM

Current Mood: awake

Sab Stew and I spent a wopping 3 hours and 19 minutes on the phone tonight.

Nate left me the nicest comment on Myspace.com.

I feel like jumping with joy.

Current Mood: loved

BUD LIGHT: You're laid back and low maintenance - a
people-person, who wants everyone else to be
having as much fun as you are. You make
friends and jokes easily, and though you're
definitely a smart ass, you're good-natured.
Every man's beer for everyone's friend.


The Greatest Beer Quiz, ever!
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: exhausted

We all fall wonderfully...

Last night...I felt like a kid in a candy store looking for my long lost lolly-pop.

I sometimes feel as if I am going backwards, like I am 13 instead of 23.

Hope unkown. And here I was trying to keep a positive attitude...even though I had yoga this morning.

This rage I can not let go....AFI

Current Mood: blah

I didn't plan on updating, but since I read awful_sometimes 's journal and I decided to post something for her to read....

Today was intense.  I woke up and felt shitty.  Everything was going shitty and I felt like I had no control.  Isolation and disconnetion are not my favorite feelings in the world.  I went to Santa Cruz with Michelle and Noah and we saw animals at Michelle's work which was cool.  Saw Becky and drove back over the hill....

I had plans to meet a friend in San Francisco to go to the Hemlock.  I was feeling lazy and down because of a fight I had with my mom.....but I decided to go anyway.  I went and I had an awesome time.  The highlight of the night was seeing this crazy woman, who was apparently on one walk in the streets of SF and try to kick cars.  Then she tried to get into the Hemlock and they threw her (literally) out on the street and she tried to hit some punk girl and the punk girl tried to beat the shit out of her.  Then, the cops come and there are four cops trying to hold this lady down, and she kicks one of them in the face with her high heels.  I was standing there the whole time talking to the dude from the Swingin Utters. Hah.

What have you done to me?

Current Mood: drained